20080724

Seeing comes before words

The last few days have been pretty strange for me. It's to the point where I feel that I'm no longer in this planet. These disillusions I've been having has a root and it's cause by my own being. Most of the time people want to blame everyone and everything, but I know better.

Out of no where all these strangers have been talking to me lately (again-this used to happen a lot to me). I want to ignore them, but they just keep talking (or they curse at me-which happened to me today). There's something about me that attracts strange people to have a conversation with me. It's sorta like Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal, except
1. I'm not a kid
2. I'm not psychic (okay maybe slightly)
3. These strangers aren't paranormal, but sometimes they are.

This one guy yesterday whom I made the mistake of making eye contact with was telling me how he's seen me around, but was intimidated by me. This isn't first time someone I barely know has told me that. Apparently I appear to have a "fuck you asshole" look to me, but these people still approach me. I've had guys telling me how they want to "make art" with me, or young ladies on the verge of an anxiety attacks randomly picking me to talk to because they need advice.
I've been trying to examine myself unsuccessfully on what is it about my appearance that makes people want to talk to me, and it hits me-culture has the same appeal to me. Something so unusual and interesting can capture my undivided attention. I want to understand it so I try it out. Perhaps the people who approach me find something in interest with me. A lot of these people are normal looking people whom want to talk my ear off or what to know everything about me.

Appearance is everything.
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2 comments:

Aaron said...

Haha, I actually used to get that a lot on campus. I'd be introduced to someone new and then, after the fact and completely unprompted, they'll let me in on the little secret that they've seen me around, have always wanted to strike up conversation, but ultimately didn't because they were "intimidated by me."

I don't necessarily understand it (I don't seem overly imposing when I look in the mirror), but I'm absolutely flattered by it. And that's because I've deciphered the code -- knowing me the way I know me (and knowing you the way I know you) I've come to understand that "intimidated by you" is simply a euphemism for "I was hesitant to approach you because you seem so much hipper than I am."

I'm terribly shallow and vain, so the thought that complete strangers are under the impression that I'm the fuckin' coolest kid on earth by merely looking at me absolutely makes my day. If someone compliments one of my personality traits (kindness, sensitivity, generosity, honesty, ethical standards, blah blah blah), I'll barely give it a second thought. But if someone compliments my physical appearance, I'm all smiles. Haha.

July 25, 2008 at 11:20 AM
Anonymous said...

outward appearances are all that exist. you're very smart. i pity the normal looking drone who thinks they are worthy of talking to you.

July 29, 2008 at 1:54 AM

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